من هستم اما.....

من هستم اما.....

اومدم بنویسم بابا من به خدا هستم اما وقت نشده بنویسم که یاد جوک معتاده افتادم که پیغام انسرینگ ماشینش بود " هشتم اما خستهم". حالا جریان ماست.

عرض به حضور دوستان که این مدته که قاعدتاٌ باید بیشتر وقت نوشتن پیدا میکردم برنامه هام به طرزی شلوغ پلوغ ترشد. هفته پیش که یلدا بود و آماده شدن برای کریسمس. بعدش هم من 3-4 ماهی میشد که جرید نرفته و درنتیجه هیچ کمکی به چرخه اقتصادی آمریکا نکرده بودم .لاجرم یکم هم به عمو سام کمک کردم این مدته. چشمتون روز بد نبینه که از چهار روز پیش هم به شدیداٌ مریض شدم. از اونجایی که یه تصادف هم هفته پیش کردم (البته من چیزم نشد) فکر میکنم دارم یه سری کارماهای منفی 2007 رو تصویه میکنم که حسابم صاف صاف باشه قبل از شروع سال جدید. به هرحال به عنوان یه اصفهانی بهتره حساب آدم صاف باشه. خدا رو چه دیدی یه وقت دیدی رو بدهیی های کارمایی آدم هم مالیات خورد هم پنالتی.

خلاصه اگه داشتین اسفند دود میکردین یه مشت هم برای من بریزن تو آتیش که 2-3 روز باقی مانده سال هم به سلامتی تمام شه. یه سه چهار روزی هم نیستیم اما قول میدیم در سال جدید مثل بچه آدم اینجا بنویسم.

اعترافات آخر سال!

از هفته پیش همین موقع که درس و مشق این ترمم تموم شده دچار انبساط زمانی شدم البته یه سری کارها که همیشه هست اما دلم میخواد یه کاره زنونه بکنم مثلا کیک بپزم یا یه ازغذای جدید درست کنم. احساس میکنم مدتهاست با قسمت زنونه وجودم در تماس نبودم.

این رو داشته باشین تا برگردم...

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دوستان یه راهنمایی بفرمایید ما چطوری پست شماره دار بنویسیم؟ در حالت "الاین رایت" هم شماره که میزنم آخر خط شماره میخوره.
حتی...........

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شرمنده این پست ناقص به دنیا اومد. گفتم بذارمش اینجا به هرحال همه که کامل و بی عیب نیستن!!!!

روانشناسی من و فارسی نوشتن

متوجه شدم که چندینتا مشکل دارم. یکیش اینکه سختمه فارسی بنویسم. البته مسإله غربزده شدن واین حرفها نیست بلکه 90 درصدش تنبلی و از 10 درصد باقی مونده هم 7 درصدش بازم تنبلی و 3 باقی مونده ترس از غلط املایی. ما اصولانا استعدادمون برای غلط املایی بالاست و میترسیم استعدادمون تجسم خارجی پیدا کنه.

دیگه اینکه ما اصولا مشکل زندگی و کلا همه چیز رو جدی گرفتن داریم. شاید حضوراّ اصلا به نظرجدی نیام ولی انگار در تمام این سالها تجربه های نوشتنیم (که خیلی هم محدود بورن) تو مباحث جدی بوده.

دارم فکرمیکنم شاید باید دوتا وبلاگه بشم، یکی برای بهاره جدیه و یکه برای غیر جدیه .....

همین الانم این قسمت جدیم داره غر میزنه که: " که خوب حالا که چی. جدی ننویسی که چی بشه؛ با این انرژی که میخوای بذازی برای فارسی و غیر جدی نوشتن چه کمکی به بشریت میکنی (این "کمک به بشریت" تکیه کلام قسمت جدیست).

خلاصه ما قراره یه تلاشن بکنیم اینجا. خدا به خیر بگذرونه.

Marginal Costs and Benefits of fulltime Motherhood, For Shin

It is a while now that I want to write about the marginal costs and benefits of staying home for your child vs. staying with your child for the period and then being back as a contributing member of your society.

Let’s clear it with an example; I am an architect so I want to make a case for insulating a building.

Here is the scenario, for every unit of better insulation you use in a house you will have proportionate unit of energy savings and thus energy savings will pay back the dollars paid for the insulation. However, as you continue to increase your insulation there is a point –called the tipping point- that the extra insulation will not increase your home energy performance anymore. At this point the cost of extra insulation are wasted as they don’t meet the purpose of increasing performance. In this point you got the maximum insulation for you house and if you want even better performance, you need to spend your money on something else and not the insulation.

So what I want to get from is that, a mother spending time with her child will benefit the child directly, but there is a point –the fulltime motherhood tipping point- that the more time you spent with the child may not benefit the child as it used to be before. In this point, your child may need you less but the society and social environment that the child will be a part of, and be influenced from, will need you more.

I argue a child will be a part of the society and those units of time you contribute to your society (after that tipping point) would benefit your child more. In this case, your work is (indirectly) benefiting your child more in a longer run than you spending the direct time with the child.

I am not sure if I could make myself clear. Does it make sense?
And above all it is about the quality of time spent to nourish the child and not the quantity.

Shin, I have been lazy in writing here, but reading your post today, I realized I want to share this with you and tell you that are an amazing mother, wife, friend, architect and colleague. Don’t worry.

جدیت من و پست مدرنیتی

من برام تشخیص داده شده که دچار جدیت مزمن هستیم وسخت نگرفتن زندگی برام تجویز شده....این اولین تلاشمه...

Better or More

Andre Gorze in Ecology and Freedom argues:
"The link between more and better has now been broken. Better may now mean less. Creating as few needs as possible, satisfiying them with the smallest possible expenditure and materials, energy, and work, and imposing the least possible burden on the environment."


Loblolly House from KieranTimberlake Associates

Search for Answers

My mind is full of questions and it constantly seeks answers. Looking for answers could be very exhaustive.
This part of Richard Norgaard preface for his book Development Betrayed, resonates so much which how I have been feeling recently:

"While my research for coherence has led to fewer and fewer answers, I have become increasingly comfortable without them. In place of answers, I have developed an even greater faith in thinking. More importantly, I better understand the importance of sharing. [...] I do not think any one way of thinking will ever be right. Indeed, right thinking is a wrong concept."

Deep-Ecology

"There is enough in the world for everybody's need, but not enough for anybody's greed."
Mahatma Gandi

غر درسی

I revisited my nag! :o)

Retrospective philosophical look at my architectural expreince

I am reading about political ecology and it makes my mind to spin:

Where does the social responsibility take me? Can I be an architect and design buildings again? What was it that made me uncomfortable to be only an architect in the first place? Why did I feel I don’t have enough means to make a change? How come I have had a hard time feeling that I am serving the ‘HUMANITY’ when I was working in the design field? Why did I feel a pain in my heart when I was in a design team for a building which was a means to extract great amount of resources, contribute to environmental and social ill and even wouldn’t offer a healthy environment for its occupants? How could I care if my designs are of the best quality but are inspired by bottom line oriented clients and not to serve the real needsof the society? What is it that makes me restless, push me forward to explore more?

What is my social responsibility? How can I be a contributor to the better good?

Relation Between fertility Rate and Education in Women

I am reading an articles from Lester R. Brown. In his chapter about stabilizing population by reducing fertility he has his controversial and very Western way of looking at the problem. However, I want to share with you one part of his article. He cites Lawrence Summers (Yep the same guy who was Harvard's president and his controversial speech about female brain cost him resignation from Harward) that argues: "each additional year of female education reduces fertility by roughly 10%." Consider this is told in relation to developing and under-developed countries and "education" indicated here is the basic and elementary education rather than higher education.
But, looking at it out of context and having a humorous view we can conclude that we've been 120% less fertile when we got our high school diploma. Lets not think of our B.S and M.S. !!!

Universe Reads my Weblog

I think Universe reads my weblog....Isn't it exacting to know that you can actually communicate with the universe even through your weblog.

Here how the whole school issue I wrote about evolved yesterday. As you could read from my last post I was very frustrated and couldn't see how I can forgive that particular individuals ,A, and some others that didn't offer their help and support when I needed the most. Yesterday I went back to my office at school . I saw T, she came to tell me how concerned she was about me feeling hurt. She told me how she was hurt in a similar situation and that things will go on and will change for the better. while the two of us were speaking A came in to discuss something with T. After that A and I spoke almost for an hour about art and being sensitive and such....it was half way in our conversation that I realised, I have already forgave her, that I could see that all of us may act not so pleasant time to time but that shouldn't be the base of my judgment.

And how universe played a role here, Universe put me and T and A all in one room one day after I wrote about how to forgive and showed me how easy forgiveness could be.

Universe, If you are reading the post too I just want to express how much I appreciate what you did yesterday.


P.S.:
1-Hope you don't doubt my sanity, I this crazy way of looking at the world :o)
2- Tahere, Nonosh and Marzieh thanks for your comments.

Objective Vs. Subjective

I just noticed that I have a wrong idea of Objective and Subjective definitions in my mind. I think I have been some how confused in their Persian meaning and that's how the confusion started... What do we use in Persian for these two words? Any idea?

Confused Bahareh

Mahmood Ahmadinejad in SNL

SNL (Saturday Night Live) is a unique funny shows which is broad-casted live every Saturday night.
Check this out:
a short love song (SNL digital short) to Ahmadinejad with Maroon 5 singer (Adam Levine) SNL 29.9.07 show run Iran Andy Samberg.

Enjoy

Quick Shots

First Shot_ Aug 30, 07:
I notice I am different; I am different from people around me. I care too much…I care about small thing just too much. Slightest thing is important for me. It feels like when God created me he set my SENSITIVITY volume on the maximum.

Maybe it was intended, who knows…. But here I am a supper sensitive girl.

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شات دوم:
ما و وبلاگمون
ما اصولا تصمیم گرفتیم که چند زبونه یا به قول خارجی ها هایبرید بنویسیم اینجا. شاید نه تنها هایبرید نوشتیم بلکه هایپر هم نوشتیم (راستی ترجمه هایپر تکس چی میشه؟؟) دوست داریم (یا به قول اصفهانیها دوست می داریم) اینجا از دغدفه های ذهنیم و مباحث درسی مثل گوبال وارمینگ و توسعه پایدار؛ تا درددلهام و حرفهای خاله زنکی بنویسیم
راستی شماها چطوری دوست می دارین؟

My take on the Home-Land subject

The first day I came to Tehran I missed my home_city. I was in my land but it wasn’t my home. After couple of yeas Tehran became my other home-city….

I can recall how I felt in my trips to Tabriz or Zanjan or even Bandarabas, which have been technically part of my land, my home land. I couldn’t quite understand everybody there but after initial strange feelings faded away, I knew I am in my home land. Those trips helped me have a wider and more inclusive understanding of home-land.

Since I left Iran, I missed it like any one else…
I came to a place which wasn’t my born place, which at first view didn’t have any of the required criteria to ever being called home. But, I got to know people, different people and though we were different we could make connection…I have started feeling connected….feeling like being not in my home, not in my home cities or home land, but maybe a different kind of home. And believe it or not there are invisible strings that tie us together. For me the invisible strings define my home…

At first Esfahan was my inner understanding (not what we would learn in our geography classes) of homeland then Then Tehran was included and later on I could feel the whole country being my home-land.

After getting residence in U.S. I got to know other people from Asia and was surprised with the level of similarity among Asian cultures. It has been easy to connect to Asian people and I felt my land is Asia. Nowadays America, Europe and Africa are all added to my definition of home or homeland.


Am I confusing you? (This is one of my specialty, making everybody). Now imagine this, Imagine being in a strange planet all by yourself, horizon is new, textures, colors, smells…you feel, uncomfortable, nervous and even scared. Creatures around you look different, act different and you have no way of understanding them. Now imagine a human walking on his feet and comes toward you. You are not alone anymore…you can transfer many un-spoken words just with a smile, just looking at him or her….don’t you think he is from your Home-Land
And it may sound crazy but sometime I have the feeling that my homeland is the universe. I am a citizen of the universe.

Thanks for your Gift Sheida

Joost, Joost come here....He comes to the living room wondering what made me so excited this time of the night.
..
Come and see what Sheida wrote in her weblog. I translate Sheid's post for him.
and add: "I SHOULD have a weblog....I have been thinking of having one for two years now and last couple of days I have been thinking of very seriously."

Joost laughs and adds: "but you already have a weblog."
True...to be honest I have two weblogs and one shared one that adds them up to three...
I started one last year and one two years ago or so. I hardy recovered the passwords for this weblog.

Now I am in my old-new house. My first post was from last October....

Sheida one confession, you were the first one I wanted to inform about my weblog....but I never wrote the second one....Never until tonight...when I read your post.

Here I am, a girl who finally writes her second post with one year delay.
I will write. I can't promise it will be fun to read. I want to unload my restless busy mind here.

Thanks for your Gift Mrs Shin...